Taking time for yourself.

[SatiyaH]

Hey sistah's! What do YOU do to take time for yourselves? How do you pamper yourself, or better yet, let me ask IF you pamper yourself
I hope so, it is truly a key to avoiding and releasing stress.

At least once a week I have MY day. Derrick will take the kids for a couple of hours and I will soak in the tub with some essential oils, shave (my legs Kerhet, my legs ) I will reflect on the past week and the week to come. I will think of the things I could have changed and see if they are things I can change in the week to come. I "let go" of any grudges. I forgive MYSELF first above anyone else I plan the things I want to accomplish in the coming week. I tell myself "I love you". (yes, I really do that) I paint my toenails
I turn my favorite music up really loud and even though I can't hold a tune for shit I still SING my head off! My fav: Al Green!!! (not his gospel but his love songs from the 70's)

[Zakiah Levanah]

I need to take time for me. I am so unorganized when I am offered a kid free moment I usually spend it catching up on a chore or I keep interfering and helping dad even though I'm not needed. I miss going to get my feet done that used to be my treat. I had alot of me time in April with my son being gone and the baby still in the belly. I took alot of long baths and did alot of singing in the shower and prayer but I didn't use alot of my time to reflect on the positive cause I was depressed. I wish I could have that time back with my current circumstances I'd have a blast.

[1dell]

Thats when having a "Me Time" fund would come in handy. Where either the woman or her man keep a stash of cash set to the set so she can take a trip on down to the message palor get a mud baph, get her hands and feet did, get an herbal wrap and some mo' ish.

I think it's VITAL to get out of the house for these things. Get some new smells in your nose, some new sites and surroundings. Feel some different textures here some different voices. Because I know even in a childless house, stuff around the house can scream at you to come do them. Stuff will remind you of the kids, your man and possibly the argument yall just had or the love yall just made. But I feel it's important to get outside of your environment to renew the mind.

when ole girl is out the house, it's the PERFECT time for the man of the house and the youngins of the house to do the chores so that when Momma come home she will not be looking at the same tasks left undone. Chipping her nails and feet doing those very things she left the house to forget.

Relationships can truly be a beautiful thang

[SatiyaH]

Hey 1Delly! Here is a great trick we use all the time--don't spend your change! Ok, say something costesss a $1.29 don't give them $1.29 but instead give them the $2.00. Then put that change in your other pocket. Do that all day every day that you are shopping or whatever--then, every night put that change in a jar that is hard to get money out of. Something with a tight neck to it. And NEVER take out of it until it's time for that treat. Have Ahvi put all the pennies or change he finds in there. DON'T SPEND YOUR CHANGE!!!!

[SatiyaH]

And what about dinner out! I HATE taking my kids out to dinner: typical family dinner out:

My kids climb under the booth switching seats arguing over who will sit by daddy or who will sit by mommy.
Then they get to playing with the sugar packs etc. My kids are "typically" well behaved, but something about going out to dinner just triggers craziness in them!
Soooo, we learned that family dinner out, should be that--family dinner out--a kids type of restaurant--and, we've learned which restaurants have "kids eat free" and on which night! We usually just order the appetizers and don't fool with an entre' when they are with us. We laugh and joke and ask for our own crayons and coloring placemats. It truly cut out on stress!
When WE go out to eat--it's just the 2 of us and we can go where ever we want and not worry about if they have a kids menu!

Derrick comes home to relax, I have to GET OUT to relax! We try to find a happy medium. I try to make the home as pleasant as possible for him to come home to--and he returns that by taking me out when I need it!
We go to the movies damn near every weekend. We eat lunch together 3 or 4 times a week. He is truly my bestest friend hang out buddy! I told him if he dies I'm killing him because I will be so mad about losing my best friend! That's why I started working so hard lately on our health--you take it for granted until you get sick! Since our average lifespan is about 80, then 40 is middle age. In party stores they call 50 over the hill! Hey, that's only 20 years from now for me! We don't need any midlife crisises this way! Soo, we both plan to grow old together gracefully! Doing that will require alot of work, and alot of support. I don't want him to be 40 and feeling insecure and having to go get some younger woman and the same for me!
Yes, 1Dell--relationships "can" truly be a beautiful thing-you are so right! (OMG, did I just say 1Dell was right! )

[1dell]

Yeah, now you're cookin. And let me throw a metaphysical spin on that. Then what you do is goto the crystal store and get a clear quartz crystal terminated on one side. Cleanse it with a sea salt bath for 7 days and 7 nights under the sun and moon. Then wash it in running water. Then program it. Hold in your hands while you focus your mind on what innerG you want this crystal to hunt down and attract back to it.

Then place it in the coin jar upright within the coins but with the tip still exposed. What will happen is the metal from the coins will magnify the quartz's power. If the sun can hit the crystal it will keep it innerGized. It will be even better if that same person who programmed it continued on a day to day basis to place their hands on the outside of the jar and meditate on the desired outcome.

Damn!!! I have all this knowledge, you'd think I'd be doing this ish.

SatiyaH said:

Hey 1Delly! Here is a great trick we use all the time--don't spend your change! Ok, say something costesss a $1.29 don't give them $1.29 but instead give them the $2.00. Then put that change in your other pocket. Do that all day every day that you are shopping or whatever--then, every night put that change in a jar that is hard to get money out of. Something with a tight neck to it. And NEVER take out of it until it's time for that treat. Have Ahvi put all the pennies or change he finds in there. DON'T SPEND YOUR CHANGE!!!!

[1dell]

Hey get used to it. 'Bout time someone recognized. I'm right all the time. The rest of yall are in denial

SatiyaH said:

And what about dinner out! I HATE taking my kids out to dinner: typical family dinner out:

My kids climb under the booth switching seats arguing over who will sit by daddy or who will sit by mommy.
Then they get to playing with the sugar packs etc. My kids are "typically" well behaved, but something about going out to dinner just triggers craziness in them!
Soooo, we learned that family dinner out, should be that--family dinner out--a kids type of restaurant--and, we've learned which restaurants have "kids eat free" and on which night! We usually just order the appetizers and don't fool with an entre' when they are with us. We laugh and joke and ask for our own crayons and coloring placemats. It truly cut out on stress!
When WE go out to eat--it's just the 2 of us and we can go where ever we want and not worry about if they have a kids menu!

Derrick comes home to relax, I have to GET OUT to relax! We try to find a happy medium. I try to make the home as pleasant as possible for him to come home to--and he returns that by taking me out when I need it!
We go to the movies damn near every weekend. We eat lunch together 3 or 4 times a week. He is truly my bestest friend hang out buddy! I told him if he dies I'm killing him because I will be so mad about losing my best friend! That's why I started working so hard lately on our health--you take it for granted until you get sick! Since our average lifespan is about 80, then 40 is middle age. In party stores they call 50 over the hill! Hey, that's only 20 years from now for me! We don't need any midlife crisises this way! Soo, we both plan to grow old together gracefully! Doing that will require alot of work, and alot of support. I don't want him to be 40 and feeling insecure and having to go get some younger woman and the same for me!
Yes, 1Dell--relationships "can" truly be a beautiful thing-you are so right! (OMG, did I just say 1Dell was right! )

[Zakiah Levanah]

1dell said:

Yeah, now you're cookin. And let me throw a metaphysical spin on that. Then what you do is goto the crystal store and get a clear quartz crystal terminated on one side. Cleanse it with a sea salt bath for 7 days and 7 nights under the sun and moon. Then wash it in running water. Then program it. Hold in your hands while you focus your mind on what innerG you want this crystal to hunt down and attract back to it.

Then place it in the coin jar upright within the coins but with the tip still exposed. What will happen is the metal from the coins will magnify the quartz's power. If the sun can hit the crystal it will keep it innerGized. It will be even better if that same person who programmed it continued on a day to day basis to place their hands on the outside of the jar and meditate on the desired outcome.

Damn!!! I have all this knowledge, you'd think I'd be doing this ish.

so many ideas so little time, tick tock tick ....