Post by Zakiah Levanah on Aug 28, 2004 8:01:13 GMT -5
Using the power of women's intuition
by Elma Ondrey
Do emotional outbursts, whether from irate customers, dissatisfied clients, or difficult employees, interrupt the smooth functioning of your business? As a mediator, I'd like to share some conflict resolution strategies that will make your life as a woman entrepreneur easier.
The business world still places high priority on the “logical, rational (male)” side of human interaction, but women's intuitive, inner awareness is just as important. If you remain aware of yourself and your body as it alerts you to the presence of conflict, complement rational analysis with intuition, and listen, really listen, with an open heart and mind, many day-to-day conflict crises can be resolved beneficially to all concerned.
When something occurs that alerts us to the presence of conflict, we react defensively, as if threatened. Our bodies respond in one of three ways: fight, flight or freeze. This attempt to control a perceived threat is a normal biological response. It is not the response needed when we are faced with conflicts that are better served by mediation or discussion.
Successfully resolving conflict requires us to be aware, moment by moment, of ourselves: our body, mind, heart and soul. This awareness restores our natural balance and allows us to tap into our own natural wisdom. With wisdom, we can resist the “fight, flight or freeze” response and find compassion for ourselves and others.
If we open ourselves to our natural wisdom, we can complement rational analysis by integrating our intuition, the wisdom that lies deep within all of us, in the business world and in all areas of our lives. When we incorporate our natural wisdom (blending intuition and logical thought), we can resolve conflicts; we are more aware of ourselves and those we are interacting with. We can listen.
The ability to listen – to ourselves and our own responses and to those who are involved in the conflict – is critical. If the other person cannot listen to you right away, let them speak first. Listen to them with an open mind and heart. This opens us to our true source of understanding where we shift from protecting ourselves and become curious and interested in understanding what the other person's needs are. With open hearts and minds, we are then able to envision new possibilities and create alternatives to the situation that could be acceptable to both parties. Only by being fully aware of ourselves can we find new ways of responding to crisis situations.
Conflict is constant. To resolve conflicts in your life and business, be ready to practice the three steps:
• Be still (be aware that your body's response to fight, fly or freeze is natural, and it's natural that you can resist this response by becoming aware of the real issues in the conflict).
• Be wise (integrate the logical thought and perceptions of the situation with your intuition and inner wisdom; these, combined, enable you to perceive all aspects of the situation).
• Listen (to yourself and the needs of the other party, to your intuition and your body's response; by being wholly aware of yourself as a balanced individual, you are open to finding ways to resolve, not exacerbate, the situation).
By practicing stillness, wisdom and listening, you regain your natural balance. This natural balance transforms people and situations “outside” us. Conflict is replaced by connectedness, and fear gives way to compassion. By joining intuitive awareness to reason, women (and men) truly have the potential to transform business, society and the world.
Elma Ondrey has enjoyed being a part of the EBWIBR community for some time, and currently practices her skills as a mediator in the East Bay. Her business, Creating Solutions, is located in Berkeley. She can be reached at 843-6514 or at solutions@igc.org.
by Elma Ondrey
Do emotional outbursts, whether from irate customers, dissatisfied clients, or difficult employees, interrupt the smooth functioning of your business? As a mediator, I'd like to share some conflict resolution strategies that will make your life as a woman entrepreneur easier.
The business world still places high priority on the “logical, rational (male)” side of human interaction, but women's intuitive, inner awareness is just as important. If you remain aware of yourself and your body as it alerts you to the presence of conflict, complement rational analysis with intuition, and listen, really listen, with an open heart and mind, many day-to-day conflict crises can be resolved beneficially to all concerned.
When something occurs that alerts us to the presence of conflict, we react defensively, as if threatened. Our bodies respond in one of three ways: fight, flight or freeze. This attempt to control a perceived threat is a normal biological response. It is not the response needed when we are faced with conflicts that are better served by mediation or discussion.
Successfully resolving conflict requires us to be aware, moment by moment, of ourselves: our body, mind, heart and soul. This awareness restores our natural balance and allows us to tap into our own natural wisdom. With wisdom, we can resist the “fight, flight or freeze” response and find compassion for ourselves and others.
If we open ourselves to our natural wisdom, we can complement rational analysis by integrating our intuition, the wisdom that lies deep within all of us, in the business world and in all areas of our lives. When we incorporate our natural wisdom (blending intuition and logical thought), we can resolve conflicts; we are more aware of ourselves and those we are interacting with. We can listen.
The ability to listen – to ourselves and our own responses and to those who are involved in the conflict – is critical. If the other person cannot listen to you right away, let them speak first. Listen to them with an open mind and heart. This opens us to our true source of understanding where we shift from protecting ourselves and become curious and interested in understanding what the other person's needs are. With open hearts and minds, we are then able to envision new possibilities and create alternatives to the situation that could be acceptable to both parties. Only by being fully aware of ourselves can we find new ways of responding to crisis situations.
Conflict is constant. To resolve conflicts in your life and business, be ready to practice the three steps:
• Be still (be aware that your body's response to fight, fly or freeze is natural, and it's natural that you can resist this response by becoming aware of the real issues in the conflict).
• Be wise (integrate the logical thought and perceptions of the situation with your intuition and inner wisdom; these, combined, enable you to perceive all aspects of the situation).
• Listen (to yourself and the needs of the other party, to your intuition and your body's response; by being wholly aware of yourself as a balanced individual, you are open to finding ways to resolve, not exacerbate, the situation).
By practicing stillness, wisdom and listening, you regain your natural balance. This natural balance transforms people and situations “outside” us. Conflict is replaced by connectedness, and fear gives way to compassion. By joining intuitive awareness to reason, women (and men) truly have the potential to transform business, society and the world.
Elma Ondrey has enjoyed being a part of the EBWIBR community for some time, and currently practices her skills as a mediator in the East Bay. Her business, Creating Solutions, is located in Berkeley. She can be reached at 843-6514 or at solutions@igc.org.
